CHARACTER NAME: Kevin Richey RACE: Caucasian, part Irish, part something else. Was originally adopted so he doesn't know his parents. DESCRIPTION: Tall, odd haircut, wears the same damn turtleneck most of the time unless at work, overweight. AGE: 33 RELIGION: None. An avowed atheist. POLITICS: Currently leans Libertarian. Prefers not to be affiliated with any one party though. Was once an Earthfirst radical in his youth but has since given up on environmental activism in favor of free enterprise. He now would like to ressurect his bookstore after it was shut down due to an eminent domain law. PERSONALITY: Well, yeah he's the cynical one, but he just doesn't complain about life, he fights it. He can often be grumpy due to his perceived notion that most people are intellectually lazy. Sensitive about his weight. HISTORY: Since the beginning of the strip Kevin has been anally probed by a voyeur, led the Fat Boy Anti-Defamation League against obesity bigots, advocated masturbation to help virgins, been trapped in The Church of the Smiley Face, dated Sonja who remains his best friend, thrown into a concentration camp for smokers because he puffed on a cigar, and lost his virginity to Heather, the on-and-off-again porn star who is roommates with Sonja upstairs.
	CHARACTER NAME: Doyle RACE: Furry Rodent DESCRIPTION: Furry Rodent, um, yeah, furry rodent--but a cute, furry rodent. AGE: Somewhere between 6-9 years, it's a little uncertain. Remember Guinea pigs don't have lifespans similar to humans. RELIGION: Deist to some extent. A proponent of Intelligent Design but the creator may have made some mistakes (such as humans). Likes to argue with Kevin about religious matters and is best friends with Pastor Pratt, the former pastor of First Baptist Church who was fired because of several scandals--one of which involved his wife being impregnated by a short Satanist. POLITICS: Uninformed for the most part. Prefers cooking and cleaning. PERSONALITY: Feisty, opinionated, takes pride in his work, naive, often misunderstands innuendo and double meanings, very loyal to friends, takes insults very personally. HISTORY: In the first ever Cynic comic (formerly called Kevin's muse) Doyle is waiting to be adopted at a pet store when Kevin walks in. As Kevin walks out Doyle hitches a ride and ends up in the Cynic apartment. There he immediately finds contention with Scott. Doyle has had many adventures including his attempts at cloning, his repeated disasters with Thanksgiving dinner (trying to butcher an ostrich), posing for pet store packaging after being exploited by the Inhumane Society, dreaming that he was Noah, dreaming that he was in Sin City, helping Scott steal cable, catering Sonja's feminist get-togethers and more. Mainly Doyle keeps The Cynic household running smoothly and is the best little cook you'd want to have in your in kitchen, minus the occasional fur that gets into the sauce.
	CHARACTER NAME: Scott Carlson RACE: White Boy, very white, yes--incredibly white. DESCRIPTION: Average height, blonde hair, wears glasses, usually dresses in T-shirt and jeans, goatee which was briefly shaved by unknown goatee assassins. AGE: 28 RELIGION: Christian of the Protestant persuasion but doesn't often abide by Christian morality or rules. Kind of makes it up as it suits him, a personalized version of Christianity. POLITICS: Republican but believes he is above some of the laws (as in he deals and smokes pot). Fact is, he gives the Right a bad name because of his inconsistencies. PERSONALITY: Does his own thing regardless if it effects someone else or not, often hypocritical, loves to start arguments, homophobic and sexist, a womanizer, a moocher, has a mean streak but can sometimes be sweet. HISTORY: Scott's history mainly involves women and weed. He doesn't have a steady job. Attended Art School but never graduated so there's no foreseeable career. Even with his glasses he has a bad boy status and women seem to want him because he treats them poorly. He even once slept with Heather's bi-sexual girlfriend. Currently he is dating Monique, a big black woman, but he's not sure why he's attracted to her except for her tits. However, as Sonja points out, he's still cheating on her. During the course of the comic strip Scott has tried several get-rich-quick schemes including selling glue to minors, selling R-rated videos and games to minor, selling pot to peace protestors even though he was pro-war, starting his own Chinese Food delivery service with Doyle and using racial stereotypes to promote it, and most recently selling Mohammed T-shirts.
	CHARACTER NAME: Sonja Zaballa RACE: Hispanic, parents were originally from South America. DESCRIPTION: Petite and pretty, kind of a blah hairdo that doesn't change, dresses modestly, wears little make-up. AGE: 29 (but really it's 34) RELIGION: Catholic, but a very liberal interpretation. She believes most of religion is patriarchal and needs to be reorganized to fit the modern mold of a society where women count just as much as men. POLITICS: Left leaning, unapologetic, Liberal Democrat. Started out as an in-your-face feminist but has mellowed out in recent years. She mostly talks politics with Kevin who tends to argue against many of her positions. PERSONALITY: Friendly, cheerful, often critical and outspoken, protective of her friends, can also be judgmental towards her friends, insecure about her sex life, insecure about her career. HISTORY: Sonja works as a graphic designer. Originally she had a fulltime position at a large firm but was terminated because of office politics. She now contracts for a variety of companies. As for conflict, usually it involves her roommate Heather or her downstairs neighbor Scott. With Scott there are arguments over his sexist attitudes, with Heather it is about her lifestyle in the porn industry. Sonja doesn't have an active dating schedule. In the course of the strip she has gone out with a Black Muslim and a Black Republican (which was payback from Heather for being set up on a date with Anne the Man). She has also dated Kevin once to see if there is anything more than a platonic relationship and felt nothing for her long time friend. Kevin on the other hand has a crush on her.
	CHARACTER NAME: Heather Libbert RACE: Caucasian DESCRIPTION: Large breasts, short, blond hair, tall, wears casual clothes but always seems to look sexy, um, did we mention large breasts? Nice ass too. AGE: 26 RELIGION: Formerly a goodie-two-shoes Christian. Then after kissing a girl in a Passion Play she gave it all up and now has no religion. She is, however, into the occult, ghost hunting with her nipples and attempting to communicate with the dead. POLITICS: Apolitical. She finds politics boring. PERSONALITY: She went from very insecure to a bold personality. She embraces her sexuality and flaunts it. Heather is bi-sexual and will have several relationships going at once. Very friendly but don't try to take advantage of her, she'll kick your ass. HISTORY: At the beginning of the Cynic comic strip Heather was Scott's girlfriend who wouldn't let Scott touch her breasts. After some life-changing events she now works in the porn industry from films to webcams. Ironically Scott has yet to touch her breasts because she wised up to him and thinks he's a jerk. Heather does treat her body like a product and even with her ample breast size once got implants. The Cynic Gang had to do an intervention to get her to remove them because they were destroying her back and various objects that got in the way. Heather unfortunately didn't learn her lesson and currently has gained weight in her ass for a website that features "white booty for black men".

I will be doing a rundown of secondary characters next. Stay tuned...

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